“My contribution to the Kaula is a song celebrating life’s beauty. I am not teaching anything. I only invite remembrance!”

27 June 2017
La Bernadole
France

“I would like to make you aware of your lies, the ones you create for yourself and the ones you create for others. What is this creation about? You might think on some level that you are not lying, and yet, if you start digging a little bit into yourself, you are going to be aware of many inner lies. They are a kind of distraction, a kind of entertainment, for you to avoid seeing the truth inside – the truth about you; the truth about this existence – as if to encounter this truth would be too confronting. And in some way, for sure it is. The more lies you have been creating, the more confronting it is to encounter the truth inside, because it might be very contradictory to all the lies you have been creating.

The lies of religions, for example. This is a very big one, pulling you far from the truth of existence. But before going that far, let’s look at all the so-called little lies you create for yourself – about you, for example. Personality is one of them, creating a kind of false “You”. With many different masks, different smiles, different ways of speaking, you create the whole language of it. And all of this has a lot of implications for yourself. This is for sure the most important. And then, how are you going to relate with others? Isn’t it amazing to think that if you put two people together, they are mostly only relating on the level of lies, they are never really speaking the truth?

Mostly, we call this politics, socialising, basically meaning: staying on the surface. What is this surface about? It is the lie of personality. Last year we were looking into that from maybe a different angle. I bring it back this year, because I see that it continues; the lies, they continue. It seems you are way too attached to that structure to be able to just say “I do not need this”; to realise it is only creating trouble for yourself and others. Strangely enough, in this family, where you would think everybody has enough depth to be friends, to be honest, there are still so many lies. There is no condemnation, there is no judgement, but it is quite important to realise and be honest about it. And especially to do something about it, of course, if you are willing to do something about it.

I have been looking into something: over all these years of meeting together, merging in this field of the Kaula, some they come back again and again with the same story, the same problem, put sometimes a little bit in different colours, with new spices in it, but still amounting to the same story. What is it that we are attached to? What is it that we still cling to? This attachment to pain, what is it about; this attachment to suffering?

I did share about suffering some time ago, in a Kaula Day. What is this attachment to pain? It seems there is a belief inside our system that we can only grow through pain, through suffering. And if you do not have pain, then you create some in one way or another; you create situations in your life where there is pain. And what I would like to point out is that this pain, this suffering, is based on a lie. So basically you create a lie in order to suffer. And sometimes you create lies not to feel the pain. It is a whole mixture, it gets very complex at some point. And actually the older you get, the more complex it gets, because over so many years you’ve been developing so many strategies: one lie to cover the other, and another one to cover that one… They have become so many that you cannot figure out what was the first one, the one that has been generating all the others.

I would like, in these days together, that everybody starts devoting more and more awareness to what all these lies are; really getting more clear about what they create, what they generate inside, outside; looking at all the consequences of that. And if one of you tells me “I am not lying”, I will consider that a lie. Because so far everybody is lying, on one level or the other.

How to approach these lies, inside of you, without judging them? That is going to be very challenging. Because mostly when you lie, you don’t really like it; and yet still you do it, but there is a judgement that comes with it. It does not feel completely good to lie. There is somewhere inside something that hurts – unless you are really truly completely blind. But I doubt you are, for then you would not be here. Yet, if you would be completely blind, for sure it would not create too much problems; you could keep on lying, and everything would feel fine.

But for most, all these lies create something very uncomfortable. And this discomfort shows in the way that if you look at yourself in the mirror, it does not feel very good; you cannot look straight at your own eyes. I am not speaking of the outer mirror, it is the mirror inside I am speaking about. When you look back inside of you, into the inner mirror, it is difficult to look without judging yourself for all the lies you have been creating.

We have great difficulties to admit that we do not know anything. That is where the lies start. In this society where we live, there is something very deep about knowledge: you need to know. You need to know why the sky is blue, you need to know why the leaves are green; you need to know everything. And the problem is that the truth is that you do not know. You need to know many things about yourself, so you create a personality. Then you can say “I am this”, or “I am that”, but it is all creation; it is not really you. And you might be able to explain why the leaves are green, but if you look deep, actually you realise that you don’t know! You can say it is because of certain chemicals, because of this or that, this whole combination of chemicals, but still it does not explain why the leaves are green!

So honestly, we do not know. Honestly, we do not know who we are, and yet, we pretend. We pretend that “I am this” or “I am that”; we pretend that the leaves are green because of this or that; that the sky is blue because of this or that. It gives a little sense of security, a little sense of stability. But it is a lie. Because it does not speak of the truth that lies in the green of the leaves; of the truth that is inside of you, that makes you “You”. Everything is fabricated, everything is theories. There is a big lie about even the creation of this planet, the famous “Big Bang”. For who was there in the first place to witness it? These are all theories, possibilities, but it is not the truth. You have theories about yourself, about who you might be, but this is not the truth.

Things can go so far! Some years ago, some people went to some schools in Paris to ask the children where the milk they drink in the morning comes from. Most of them replied “from the pack”, very few said “from the cow”. And the ones replying “from the pack”, they believe in it. No connection to the essence, to where things really come from. This is a small example of one lie among many; of how we get completely distorted – far, far, so far away from the essence of everything, as much on the outside as on the inside.

And then we relate; we relate from there. What a chaos, what a big mess! We try our so-called “best”, but somehow it is just about polishing, here and there, all the lies we’ve been creating. And I will be honest with all of you: there are some very dangerous lies – the spiritual ones, that many of you are creating. All this talk that I hear so often: “yes, the depth where I went in myself”. “Myself”!? What are you speaking about?! “My deep experiences”! What are you talking about? What kind of experiences are you speaking about? How are you going to manage to look into the inner mirror without judging; judging everything you have been creating: the lies, the spiritual lies, the so-called experiences, the so-called spiritual experiences? How are you going to face all of that without judging?

I bring this up because it is a very crucial moment when finally, first of all, you find the mirror. That is not an easy thing to find inside, but when you find it, you will see the whole ugliness. Then, when you see the ugliness you have been creating, maybe you just want to throw up; maybe you want to escape, not to see. And yet, I would like to encourage you to stay; to face the ugliness of all the lies without running away. Without falling into despair, into complete depression; without getting suicidal, but simply being happy to finally see – even if what you see is not really pretty.

So, to get down to the inner mirror, sweep the dust out; the dust that is all our pretensions, our beliefs, our lies. That needs to be done very lovingly, not with judgement. That needs to be done with great compassion.

And the other step in that – by and by, as you clean the mirror – is to have enough awareness to not again gather dust. That is so far what I see happen in many here. Many of you did find that inner mirror; many of you are confronted with the dust that is there and you are also cleaning the mirror, but what I see is – and it might be out of habit – that you do bring some dust back. You clean, and then you bring some dust back. This is what I said just before, that I am surprised that after all these years, some of you they come back with the same story. They clean the story here for some time, they go back home, and the mirror is much more clean; but then, back home, they put some dust back. They come back here, and the same story again! How long do you want to do that? So far, on my side, I have no problem with your stories, but I am just wondering why? Why, again and again? Why not keep the mirror clean, and make it cleaner and cleaner?

So this is why I come back to that question: what is this attachment to what creates pain in you; creates suffering in you; to what makes the mirror more and more blurry, so that you cannot see you true face?

If you would see somebody cleaning their house, and once it was clean, you would see them empty the bag of the vacuum cleaner everywhere on the floor, you would think that that person was completely sick: he just cleaned, and then he put all the dust back on the floor. It seems that inside, for many, this is the case. I just simply want to bring some clarity to this behaviour, and that you gather the courage to face it clearly and to take a very clear decision of not repeating, again and again, the same inner action that puts you in the same problem. What about putting your creativity somewhere else? Why use your creativity for problems?

Why I am concerned, directly in this family, is because we relate with each other, and we would like this relating to support one another to grow. But how is that possible if everyone is lying? Then I do not think there is a single possibility of evolution, then somehow we are stuck on the same level.

I want to support you by a little method, a method that I do apply to myself since a long time already. It is a very challenging one, very exposing: all the people you relate with, they are all a part of you. So, for example, in this room, you are sitting there, and everybody around you is a part of you. There is not somebody outside, they are all really a part of you. Look carefully at the implications – they are absolutely enormous. The one you judge, the one that pushes your buttons, the one you like, the one you love, the one you prefer, the one you find utterly stupid. Do you realise: the one you find stupid is a part of you, is a part of you that you judge stupid. So how are you going to relate then, with the one you find stupid? Can you accept that part of you that is so-called “stupid”, and can you make it evolve? This is where the method gets very interesting. And subtle, maybe not so easy to grasp.

So, the first step is to see that everyone is a part of you. No need to change anything, just consider all the people around as being part of you, and start watching how you relate to all these parts. And start watching why the one is a part you like, while the other is a part you don’t like. What it is this part that you find stupid? Why?

Start noticing all of this; just noticing, more and more. By and by, you start getting the hang of the method; you start understanding how it works. And it might take quite some time before you can really evolve into it. Once you get it, there is a second, very interesting step: how do I make these parts evolve? The part I find stupid, for example. First of all, I start to make it evolve if I do not have the judgement; if I look at that part lovingly; if I send positive vibrations to that part. If suddenly that part that I find stupid comes towards me, I welcome it fully with my heart, and I stay in a positive, welcoming vibration. Some very interesting magic happens in such moments. The interesting thing is not about changing the other. Be very wary of that, because that can be the trap in this method. You are not there to change all these parts. You are not there to change anybody, but if you welcome one part – for example “stupid” – by you, yourself, being not stupid, you do change the way you relate with all these parts of you; with all the people around you. If in that moment you are not stupid. Do you understand? Because what happens when you judge that part “stupid”, is that you are yourself stupid; you are suddenly in that part of you that is stupid. If the part that is “arrogant” comes to you and you judge that part “arrogant”, you are yourself in that moment in the part of you that is arrogant.

So one person, “the arrogant one”, comes to you, and you relax; you relax deeply, you stay humble, you stay loving. Suddenly the arrogant part inside of you starts melting, starts shifting vibration from arrogance to humbleness – and this has enormous repercussion in your energy field. From there, it is going to touch the energy field of the person outside, “the arrogant one” coming to you. His energy field is going to be affected, and it is going to touch the humbleness lying inside of him. In this way, you make that person evolve, as much as you too evolve at the same time.

It is a subtle dimension. To be truly honest, it is one of the depths of the shamanic dimension; it is the great work of the shaman, actually. I do not want everybody here to become a shaman, you do not need any label – neither tantrika nor shaman – I just want to share the method. And the root of this method comes from shamanism.

I would like you to move with it during this retreat, and like I said, I have shared it in two parts. Please do not go too fast; stay in the first step, dig into it, reflect into it. It is extremely interesting. You really need some time to get into it, to shift into it, before the second step starts happening. Maybe you need weeks, or months, I do not know, but I would like you to be patient, really patient, and to simply explore. And in that exploration, also to see: is it really for you, this method? Is it really functioning? If not, please drop it. I am not here to impose on anyone any kind of system or method. Maybe you need something else. But at least while you are here: try. It is only by trying that you will know if it works for you. If not, don’t worry, I have enough in my pockets; I can share other methods. But I would like, during this time together, that you try; that you relax into it, playfully.

It is going to make you aware of so many different layers. Maybe the first is about all the lies, the projections, the beliefs – making you aware of how divided you are. And how much you create that division outside, how much pretension there is. In some way, it can be very disturbing to move with such a method, so this is why I say again: take your time with it. And also: don’t be obsessed by it. Sometimes it is there, sometimes it goes away. Sometimes you remember, you bring it back; but move gently with it, so that the shift of perception it creates does not also create too much disturbance in you.

It is to support you to see the big picture. I remember, as a child my brother used to like to lay puzzles. He had a huge one with so many pieces. I was fascinated by just watching him laying it. I rarely participated, but I liked to sit by his side and really look. Maybe one of the most interesting things is that first he would put the picture of the puzzle on the floor. Somehow that was the first “thing” for me: “But it is done! There is the full picture! Why bother?! Why bother to put piece by piece only to recreate the picture that already exists? Why bother!?” I was fascinated watching him recreating the picture that was already there, piece by piece. Sometimes it would take him months.

Isn’t it strange? Isn’t it strange what we create inside? Why do we create a puzzle of something that is already there, that already exists? Why do we have to go away from the picture of reality, to recreate it in pieces so that we can put all those pieces back together, and in the end be able to say, “Hallelujah, I found it!”? The picture is already there! Do you see the madness of it? Do you for a moment realise it? What is this obsession?

What about throwing away the puzzle, looking directly at the full picture of existence? Why create all this trouble of laying a puzzle? It is a very interesting behaviour: we want to own the big picture, we want to be able to say “I found it”. And that was also interesting to look at: when finally my brother did finish his puzzle, he was usually very proud of it; finally, he found it all, and got all the pieces together. But do you know what? It is a fake picture! It is not the real stuff. Behind the puzzle, there is the real picture. And there too, I remember I was like: “This guy, either he is blind, or he is sick – something is completely wrong with him!” He would prefer to hang the puzzle on the wall, rather than the real picture! How crazy is that?! How weird?!

And the same happens inside of us. It is important to be honest: we do create a fake picture of existence, a fake centre. I have spoken about this; last year, I guess. We create a fake centre inside, where we identify, where we can say: “this is myself, this is existence”. It resembles very, very closely the real picture; it is almost the same, but what are all those lines creating the little pieces of the puzzle!? What is all of that?! It is a broken picture! It is an interpretation of the real picture.

Constantly, we misguide ourselves by creating puzzles of the real picture. I would like – or maybe I would prefer to say, I wish, I really wish – everyone to be courageous enough to blow away the puzzle and relate with the real picture. And for that, I bring you this method that I just shared about. Start with it by and by, and look at the effect; sense the effect. As long as you think people around you are just people, first of all there is a sense of separation, meaning that you are in the puzzle – among millions of pieces that you try to put together, out of needs, out of whatever nonsense. Some parts, of course, you reject, so you have a kind of broken picture inside with some pieces here, some pieces there. Some you call your friends, your lovers. Some you call your enemies, and of course you throw them in a corner; you do not want them in your picture.

What if suddenly all these pieces, all these people, they are you; they can only be you? Then there is no more division, then you are out of the puzzle – falling deep into the big picture. Why is it that you don’t want in your picture the one you call stupid? What if he is part of the big picture? You cannot photoshop the big picture! This is what everybody is doing, somehow: rejecting this part, and that one, so as to make the inner picture a little bit more beautiful; to make the puzzle more pretty. So, if you feel the method is worth trying, please do. If some they decide “sorry this goes too far”, fine; I can look for something else for you. For now, I would like that we to start this Summer Kaula from this point…”

17 April 2018
BodhiTree
the Netherlands

“I have been looking a lot into this attitude that we have in life: this attitude of separation, or of togetherness, of communion. I would say that on the path of Tantra, this is something to really look a lot at. Strangely enough, I got to look at it deeply when we were in Peru this spring, in a very particular place, a old temple. Some of us in the family have been exploring a temple on that site. The temple is really built in a way that makes us enter that inner space of connection, of communion. There I took time creating a space, and steps also, to get to really feel what it is, this dimension where we connect, where we relate. And also what the fake one is; the one where we think “I relate”. This, for most of us, comes out of language, so it’s maybe about that I have to explain a bit more.

We have found ways to create words, to communicate, in order to feel a link to each other. One person speaks, the other listens, and in that we experience a kind of illusion that “wow, we are together”. Looking more clearly into this, especially in this old temple, making steps there, I saw that we have distorted language too. We have put it in a place where it gives the illusion of connection, while actually it creates more division than connection.

The language we have now, is for most of us very connected to the mind, to conditioning, to ideas. We can exchange ideas, we can exchange concepts, we can exchange many things like that, but it does not mean that we are in real communion, in real contact. What I see is just like two computers in front of each other, sharing some programs, but not meeting. They kind of exchange programs, but they don’t meet.

While moving in that temple, I had to go back to look: what is language, where are the roots of language? And I discovered that it is not just about communicating words, it is surely about communicating energy too; and our body moving, that is also a language. And by and by, taking those steps, so that I could come somewhere really profound, I saw that, really,  language is about listening. It is not so much about putting something out, but about listening. And in that listening, there is true communication that is not especially verbalised, even if we use words.

Like now, even though I use words, I am pretty aware that the true language is not in my words. For sure, I use sounds, words that have meaning, but the capacity to have contact in this moment is this contact in, you could say, energy. I am here, you are there, some are even far away, in another country. But I think distance does not matter, only if we can link to each other in this moment matters. The best way is from the energy. I could say, “okay, let’s link in the heart and it is all happening in love”. But the problem in that is that those words are a bit too spoiled. They have become concepts; they have lost their true meaning, and their true value. So it makes it a bit difficult for me to say, “it is a matter of connecting in the space of the heart, then we have true language”. I think I have to use other words for that now.

Walking the steps in the temple, there were indeed other words that came. The first one is “silence”. It sounds really weird somehow to say: from silence we truly communicate and that is from where true language is happening. But our words can be filled with silence, and I see that it is from there we meet. Now, you can somehow colour this silence with love, or with different vibrations. But I would prefer to keep it just as silence and that we don’t start interpreting it with different colours. For sure, I know from some of you that silence might have that fragrance of love in it, or there may be gratitude, or some other fragrances in the silence. But, to me, this is something truly immense: to realise that the real language, the real communication, is in the depths of silence – where there is not even a process of thinking happening, not even a process of emotion happening. For many, it might sound a bit weird, and yet, maybe the paradox, or the contradiction, is extremely valuable. And for me, it is extremely true.

I remember that at some point I was sitting in the temple, falling into that depth of silence where there all of a sudden is a complete connection with everything; a complete listening to everything. You can hear the plants, you can hear the birds, you can hear the stones… And then I realised: I hear them, and yet it is completely silent, and no words. I hear a stone, completely; there are no words, and yet there is language. I have found this extremely precious. And looking in that depth, I realised that, wow, in between human beings we never dare to shift into that space because we have spoiled language; we have forgotten what I would call the roots of it.

I saw that trees, rocks, all kind of plants do have their own communication. It is all silent, even though they really say a lot. I think we are the most noisy people on this planet, and in that noise there is not even real communication. It is a very superficial entertainment, and I feel now that it is quite important, at least in the field of the Kaula – and even further: we can stretch it to everyone – to start to look at what we do with language. Where does our language come from? Where do we place ourselves when we speak? Where is that voice taking roots?

And at the same time, diving into language, to really look at the contact we create; the impact of our communication in those moments.

My understanding, for now – it is not an ultimate conclusion, but at least for now – is that if we dive into that depth of language, then, at the same time as we speak to each other, we are also in contact with all the plants, the rocks, and everything that surrounds us. So our communication goes also there. We start to not only speak to each other but to our entire surroundings, too. I feel that this has a great impact; an impact on the coming back into true togetherness; an impact of communion.

And then, our language can be filled also by some “words” from the plants that are here, or the stones that are here. They can suddenly participate, while up to now they haven’t. If we look a bit at how we have built our society, there is no participation of nature: the trees, they have no say; the stones, they have no say; the rivers, they have no say. Because we don’t let them participate in our language, simply because we don’t go into the depths of language: into the silence where we can hear each other as well as the entire surroundings that are here for us. I feel that if we come back to that depth, it can significantly change the way we build our society, the way we build our houses, the way we build everything, actually. I think then, if we start building some crazy house, full of cement, plastic and all kinds of chemicals that are going to hurt the surroundings, then the trees will for sure have something to say.

In the silence, when the language takes root by being in contact – in complete communion –  then everybody has their words. So if an idea comes, I can not have merely my words, my ideas, my concepts, for I will know clearly that there is a co-creation of the whole happening. Then the plants will be okay with that idea, and the trees and the birds and all of them will be okay with that idea, because they can participate; they can be in it.

It is interesting even now, as we are sitting here, to check: are we really in true contact, first of all with ourselves? And from there: are we willing to dare into silence, and really listen? And like I said, that is far from listening merely to the words I speak now; it is to truly listen to everything that surrounds you in this moment.

In our cities, it is a bit scary to do that, because we start listening to things that are suddenly very painful, and it disturbs us very much. Maybe, if you really go into that silence, some strange vibrations will come up that will definitely feel painful. And for me it is important that we feel that too. Because it shows us our responsibility in what we do, in what we speak; in the language we put out into this world: the language of forms, the language of colours, the language of all kinds of materials we create. I don’t think that if we would have been truly in silence, in the listening, in the contact of our natural surroundings, we would have created cars that pollute the planet. That is just one example out of many that goes against our surroundings, and that simply shows that we don’t listen; we don’t communicate.

While walking in the temple, I found it extremely exposing to realise that we are completely out of true communication, completely out of language: that somehow our language is a big, big pretence. It is completely empty, and yet very devastating. It is empty, and yet it carries quite a destructive power with it.

So when I share this invitation for everyone to start looking a little bit deeper in the depths of language, it means a lot to me. At first, you can start to see what words come out of your mouth in relating. That is, here; that is, with friends, with family, at your work, in the street, in a shop. What are those words, do they really create a meeting? Do they really reach the person that you – as we use to call it – “communicate” with?

And from there, you might dive a little deeper into looking at how much you listen, how much you are silent. I definitely invite you to look there without judgement: just simply taking the path in peace with yourself. And, by and by, re-centring yourself in the roots of silence – where communion is happening, and where language is finally born. Language that truly links us to each other. And remember, when I mention language, for sure it might be a lot about words, but it would be nice if you extend it to absolutely everything. Language is also your actions, language is also what you create in forms. It has many different qualities, many different shapes.

I remember – and I think it must be true for everyone here – that as a child you learn politeness. You are at the table, your mom gives you something, and you have to say “thank you”. If you want something, you have to say “please, can I have the salt”; you get it, and have to say “thank you”. I don’t know how it was for you, but for me it was very annoying. Until a point when I did not notice it anymore, it became automatic. I did not even catch myself saying it, it just happened. Now, if I want salt, sure, I just don’t say “salt”, I say “can you please give me the salt?” This is a very small example, but the same thing is true for so many different little things in daily life.

Politeness, I feel, has also completely spoiled the real value of language. You say “thank you”, but you don’t mean it; we say “please, give me this…”, but we don’t really mean “please”. It gets so utterly empty. Not to mention the famous “I love you”, that can turn into “I love pasta” as much as “I love a woman”. I wonder sometimes, are pasta and woman to be made equal? Oh, how everything gets empty; how it no longer has any depth, as it is no longer born in silence – meaning that it is no longer born in real connection!

So in this way, like I said, with language we start creating more and more distance and division, while that is definitely not the purpose of it. Language is actually a very beautiful, mysterious dimension of togetherness.

Thus, in your politeness too I really invite you to start looking. Especially when you say “thank you”. “Thank you” is such a powerful prayer. If every day you catch yourself here and there, I am pretty sure you can make a very fast jump into silence, into real contact; and, by and by, into completely reshaping your language. It might be that you use exactly the same words, but you will reshape it so that it has a true energy in it, a true meaning; so the whole emptiness, the politeness, all these things, by and by can go away; and you bring more care, more sharing, and more gratitude too, into language.

In this Kaula I have this “duty” – it’s a funny way to say it – to speak. I guess I have chosen this a long time ago: to use language to communicate things that, I would say, are impossible to communicate. But, by and by, I realise that, oh, that is not completely true, these things can definitely be communicated, if there are these steps of silence. If my language takes root in silence, I can communicate anything, even things that may be impossible to shape in words.

Looking back through so many things I have been saying, maybe I have to apologise for certain things that did not come out of silence. Because I see that it creates a lot of misunderstanding; it creates chaos, basically. If my words have some noise inside of them, then I know I bring noise to inside of you, and that, I feel, creates confusion; creates chaos. And so far, very honestly, I can see that it has been moving in waves: sometimes coming out of silence, another moment coming out of some quite noisy space. I am learning, and I feel that language is a very deep, deep learning that we all pass through.

It is strange to see that at very early age we learn many words. I think it has been studied that after a certain number of years we somehow “have it all” – the language. When we have a little child that finally can say a few sentences, then – oh yeah! – she or he is speaking; and, we think that’s it. I am pretty amazed to see now that learning language is not for the early years of life, rather I would almost say it is a path in itself. I sincerely think it could go faster if from the start we would have parents, family, friends around who were already rooted in the depths of language. But so far, for now, it is not like that. So maybe it takes longer; longer before we get to the essence of language.

It was so surprising to sit in that temple and to really listen to simple plants, simple rocks, and to see that they know better than I how to speak! I felt quite a bit as if in shock, I would say –  a very sweet shock. But they do know better: they know better to be in contact in their communication. And isn’t it amazing to learn speaking, to learn language, from a plant, or from a rock, or a tree?…”